"there
are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different
countries. often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up
love which has lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. and
somehow every lover knows this. he feels in his soul that his love is a
solitary thing. he comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is
this knowledge which makes him suffer. so there is only one thing for
the lover to do. he must house his love within himself as best he can;
he must create for himself a whole new inward world - a world intense
and strange, complete in himself. let it be added here that this lover
about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a
wedding ring - this lover can be man, woman, child, or indeed any human
creature on this earth.
now, the beloved can also be of any
description. the most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. a
man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still love only a strange
girl he saw in the streets of cheehaw one afternoon two decades past.
the preacher may love a fallen woman. the beloved may be treacherous,
greasy-headed, and given to evil habits. yes, and the lover may see this
as clearly as anyone else - but that does not affect the evolution of
his love one whit.
therefore, the value and quality of any love is
determined solely by the lover himself. it's for this reason that most
of us would rather love than be loved. almost everyone wants to be the
lover. and the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of
being beloved is intolerable to many. the beloved fears and hates the
lover, and with the best of reasons. for the lover is for every trying
to strip bare his beloved. the lover craves any possible relation with
the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain."
